its been sucha loooong time now, most of my fav bloggers dont even blog anymore :( so i cant trash their comments section.

so its finaly over huh?
i walked out of the auditorium after finally finishing my exam, into the silenced hallways, how i wish i could have been there when all me friends ran out of the auditorium with grins stretching wide from one ear to the other, and the uproars and cheers of finally finishing the part of life that seemed to stretch to eternity...the celebratory hugs, jovial talks bout summer plans, a certain noise resonating that was still lingering even after everyone had left...
i could feel a tinge of happiness, as i smirked to myself saying 'its finaly over'.
as i turned to get my bag from the labs...i never realised the horror that awaited me, my bag was gone and the doors were locked.... -_-; soo much for a happy ending, if not a perfect one.
well i later found out that a friend of mine had taken my bag cuz they were goin to lock the labs...so i found her, along with the crowd of people awaiting for their parents to arrive to drive them back home. and well some other students were arriving for their afternoon exams.
i silently went and sat on a bench where my bag was kept and was about to call my dad, when i was interupted by someone who squeled my name so loudly that it left me shocked for a moment, and saw another friend of mine, i could really feel the aura of genuine happiness emanating from her quite strongly, "huggles to you too my friend" and then i realised my friends were head over heels by the fact that school's finally over...O_O hmm am i the only one who feels indifferent? somehow, i just cant imagine not going to school anymore, haha feels wierd, i guess my mind just cant register the fact that its over...and it aint never a good-bye but always a see-you-later.... it still is.
i am kinda tired feels like a long joruney has finally ended, litterally...i came home from skool, went straight to bed after a shower, woke up again, ate lunch, and slept again...woke up at evenin and felt like sleepin again, but i finally gave myself a break...guess i'll be awake all nite tonite...

yesh yesh i kno board exams are going on and just wth am i doing here right now?
well it was quite difficult to find any means of entertainment, since everything is banned for me litterally, :\, i dont really know how one is supposed to treat their board exams, i just treat them like normal ones...except for the fact that these grades are gonna stick with me for life and that theres no returning back to school after june 12....which scares the crap outta me. but its like this, one minute the feeling is there and the other min its gone *poof*
so what brings me to blogging even knowing the fact that no one is really going to come during these days cuz of the exams...well i dont know, the blog has been left barren for soo many days...
maybe just one post of randomness doesn't really affects now does it.

i was just getting my clumped up with maths when suddenly the wierdest most nastiest thought entered my head. clothes made outta human skin...how gross can my mind get? blame it on stephen king. lately i've been pretty interested in the legend of hitler, man why do they teach lame history topics at skool, just got a whiff of it when i read apt pupil, and since then im looking for fiction based on nazis...unfortunately, novels have also been banned, plus all my dan brown collection has been forcefully donated to the library where im sure it will be abused and lost by future students.
i usually watch my bro play games cuz i basically suck at them, i am sure the game Grand Theft Auto is known by all guys...amazingly every sentence they speak consists of a swear, and the radiostations are just hilarious to listen to. what i dont understand is, some swears dont even make sense when you think bout it...the basic 'eff u!" so ur telling the person to go have sex when your angry? like wth? plus its ok to say sex but wrong to say eff....when they both exactly mean the same thing, who created this unseen law of discriminating words?
so is it ok for me to use words that exactly mean the same thing yet dont contain any vulgar words?
sigh these are one of the unexplainable things that i ponder of, its there and everyone folows it but they dont really know why.

theres a food for thought for anyone who reads this blog.

cough*cough*

i know its been a looong time...to be honest i had completely forgotten bout it. but when boredem strikes you start to find the most absurd things to be entertaining. like studyin! whoever knew wracking your brains over a question could be soo exhilirating, but its starts to become frustrating to the point where you feel like slamming the book shut and throwing it against the wall. sadly it cant be done during exam...*off goes to imagine the scene* ohhh my maths paper hits mariama right on the face...! *_*

well the thought of blogging just hit me randomly. so this would be my first post of the year!

my year started off with whipped cream stuffed up my nose by 2 handsomely giagantic men...yes MEN. one guy even has a kid. haha then came up the flair fusion, and i must say the crowd was heavier than last year or was it just the stalls taking up more space making the crowd seem bigger? well my lucky ticket was called out on stage, i cant believe i just read it once and had it memorized. 2558. haha still remember it, how can i forget? when my ticket was called out the number sounded familiar, and i did say that i think thats my ticket but there was just one prob, i was on the other side of the field and by the time i reached it was already too late...its just one of those things that you nearly miss it. and that was the day when i was first hit by random guys...hmm, wierd and annoying experience hehe well atleast i wasnt alone, just the thought of someone whom you know standing next to you but whose mute during the action is enough to give strength.

then came the lunch, i knew it was the season of catching colds, i was suffering the earlier symptoms of it, and took it to a whole new level on that day. its strange how each individual's body reacts slightly different when straining their body. haha i cheered and screamed for all my friends who went up on the stage to perform, everyone was amazing, the atmosphere just bedazzling, and you keep on wishing to yourself that this day would never end. the frenzy inside the labs and backstage. One of the highlights of that day was mr. neville sherman turning bright red when asked to come up stage and dance, ahh even though it was dark i could clearly see those cheeks turning crimson.

then came the lunch, the food uh not soo great but a wonderful opportunity to take pics with friends and teachers. and it was during the lunch i realized the my voice, was toning down. its almost impossible for a girl to make a guyish voice, so sorry czarina when i just wasn't able to believe that your soft whispy high pitched voice was just occuring naturally...now when i compare it with my case, yah its pretty much possible. strange how everyone reacts differently

the after party was wonderful, cruising off to jumeirah and standing out with heads tilting as we strolled by...

tomorow is the sports day, im looking foward to some sweat and an awful lotta cheering...most of my friends are participating in the march pass mainly to skip classes, would you believe if i told that only 5 girls were left in our class? i was too there in the march pass initially but it was just too much for me during the practice...plus 10 dhs for a cap and white gloves, aint walking like a jackass infront of friends and sweating like pigs a price high enough to be paid?

haha all those not participating were asked to go to back to class, but what can i say there was nothing to look forward in class, so i just strolled around the school, watched the practice, hoping none of those inquisitive nosy teachers would notice me...all in all it was a success bunking first 5 periods of tuesday. i even asked some random girls to let me try hopscotch, wished good luck to a bunch of 7 and 8 snotty brats in bunking classes, i couldn't care less, with badge or without badge none of it really mattered...plus i never knew that our school cupboards were in such a bad shape that they could be opened with any key, hehe

this month had seemed to be filled with soo many events that the atmosphere was just so festive and cheerful, makes it really sad to know that all good things must come to an end, and the seriousness of studies might actually sink into the skin,

but all is not lost theres still the actual graduation to look forward too, i say that in a vague accent of irony

yawn*
>>
<<

alrite, i know there a ton of things that i can do instead of sitting on this chair and staring at the screen. meh...

so i have found my new unofficial art period! :D last year it used to be english
this year its chemistry! the most boring and difficult subject outta all the rest~!
arabic would come next to it, but the teacher is much more alert and god i hate it when they scream, seems like they have a mini speaker that produces sound equivalent to the ones found in concert halls.

anyways...i would have posted my doodles if only i could find the plug of the stupid scanner...
oh well i'll just list them out, for one whole week i used to draw myself in small cartoon form and what i really felt like doing. around 5 small drawings on a page, 1 for each period.
the next week i drew i comic (took the whole page) about me dreaming myself getting caught by the chemistry teacher, and the comic is titled "Dreams do come true.." sometimes sooner than you can expect.

after that we started doing something interesting like forming wierd formulas and names of acids and alcohols.

just when i was staring mindlessly into the air, an image of an amputated head flashed into my mind. the head was cut off from the top, which allowed the brains to be shown and there were flowers growing out of it. i thought of drawing roots out of the neck to show where the plants are getting its source of energy. oh yah n then theres the part of the head thats been cut off placed at the side...and the drawing definitely would look wierd without traces of blood. so i drew some of that along with some sweat beads on the face, and the eyes rolled up to add to the effect.

hmmm, it might sound gross, but its not that bad, after that little peice i've been inspired to draw something disturbing and wierd.

next i have drawn a girl with another face coming out from behind her head. apparently, the idea of split personality came to me after i had finished drawing. i am also painting this drawing on a canvas that i've borrowed from the art teacher, i am not sure whether she would like the idea since people usually like things that appeal to the eye...
she wouldn't mind accepting the painting since i have finally made an effort after all her nagging but i dont expect it to be exhibited anywhere around school and especially not in the lobby.
but hey this what i call abstract, for once theres actually a concept behind an abstract drawin, i hate people who just draw random lines and shapes and call it abstract gimme a break! (no wonder each an every girl i meet who likes to draw and has 0 creativity says abstract is the easiest thing to draw, when a true artist would say the opposite, it kinda pisses me off)
for starters dont define every un-categorized drawing into abstract, abstract is showing of an idea or a concept in a rather different way than we usually perceive them to be.

which reminds me, the other day i was in our supervisor's (also my chem teacher) room and guess what i found a drawing i had made 3 years ago, framed on the wall. O_o wow, kinda honoured even though its not really that big of a deal but still! my drawing being framed on the wall! gah i sound soo self absorbed and egotistical....

haha well then thats it i guess...its wierd how hours seem like minutes when you start doing something you enjoy...i just did a sketch yesterday on the canvas, and before i knew it an hour had already passed by.
as far as photography goes, its not that i've lost passion for it, just that i cant find anything good to photograph right, plus with all the mocks coming up...i think i'll wait for awhile before i hold my camera again....

and a good day to everyone! :D

ps: a few days ago, i bunked skool for the first time! yay! now i can cross that from my things-to-do-before-i-finish-school list. :D

the day started off with me ridin the bus with my usual bus mate(arab) whom i often ask for the time...
n then just outta curiosity i wanted to know how to say the same phrase in arabic hehe its said as "kam as sa3a" (yes i am gonna use the mod arabic)
anyhow i just noticed today the effect of different cultures mixing together
for starters language...the use of word "pagal" n "yaar" has become pretty common among arabs
i have learnt the common phrase of "how are you?" and answering it in various lang,
languages have always intrigued me, i luv being able to communicate in different lang even if i haven't perfected it enuf. (except for my own lang n arabic) although each time i get very excited wen i am able to read and understand anythin in a foreign language (eg: arabic)
at times it can be pretty annoyin tryin to learn a whole new set of vocab...-_-
but then again somehow learning a new lang helps to close the racial gap :)
i dont really have much to say although im sure this topic could go on foreva listing out the pros and cons.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

these days i have become so bored with my daily lifestyle that i have started seeking refuge in fiction. ppl often complain how boring books are n its make them feel sleepy, all i gotta say is that those type of ppl are soo shallow minded and have closed doors to soo many possibilities of perceiving a different lifestyle just to be stereotypical.
story books are awesome! (although i hate descriptions and lookin into dictionary for words i dont understand)
its like you are brought down to a different place, n live a brief moment in someone elses shoes.
and yes i do prefer books over movies cuz movies usually do tend to cut out those small details.

as a young child i used to like listenin to stories, be it that my bros n sis tryin to scare me (in which they usually succeeded and completely disrupted my tranquil state of mind) or my moms story bout a crow and a pigeon (apparantly she knows only 2 stories by heart that she used to say like almost everyday at nite)

in a wierd way i have now started preferin to read books in my free time rather than chattin bout the same subject to my friends, or naggin and complainin bout skool....
although i do like to debate over some ideas and thoughts, and do socialize enuf so that i am not completely isolated from reality

well for starters eid mubarak to all my readers...hope u guys take this opportunity to become rich :P
n now my final year of skool, is goin uhhh boring....>> its not supposed to be boring! i know that but all the teachers are sooo boring, u feel like dozing off in their class, i wonder if its bcuz of ramadan...
lets hope so, but i really do feel like doing the craziest n wildest things before i leave this skool
maybe i might stick here to do my 12 n 13.
somehow the pressure of being in gr 11 still hasn't sunken in n the fact that im gonna give an extra ig subject n have barely finished 1/4 of the core portion, i dunno, i guess i dont really feel tensed up until its rite on my face. which is pretty much true

so the reason why i have a wierd name for my title is because i wanted to ask bout my readers personality as to whether they are cautious or the type who love taking risks.
as for me i am usually a cautious person, when it comes to prestige, but physically yes, i do tend to go a little overboard n take wild steps sometimes, but thats wat all the fun is bout! its like gambling once you try it, its just kinda hard to leave. (but its not that every person will become an addict)

i could have been hit by a car like 5-10 times...(i did even get a little pushed by my skool bus)
the fact that i survived at the brink of death brings so much happiness, that u feel like laughing on death's face...for some wierd reason i do usually start giggling after doing something crazy similar to that, n the drivers usually curse me :D
id rather die with a single shot of pain rather than waiting for my body to deteriorate slowly and endure the slow torture. -_- and its not like i want to achieve something big outta life anyways, right now my only sole purpose is to just search for happiness even if its very little, and record memories of it in my diary, so when i look back i can remember all those stupid n silly n embarrassing things i did in my life n laugh at my ownself.

but then it is definitely a naive way of thinking for one to divide the world into whats fun and boring...you have to keep up with the world, survival of the fittest i guess
im sure there is irony hidden in this topic somewhere...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on a side note, i am pretty much enjoying my eid even if its tiring n the house never seems to be clean no matter how much i've tried to clear things up.
i finally got new speakers, well technically old since they were first used by my bro but they are in mint condition, n works perfectly plus its from logitech!
he got himself a new home theatre system meant for computer, well he did bought em but the prob he had sooo much crap in his room that he had to actually give alotta thought as to where he should place them n was driven to the point that he had finally clean his room.
today i will get a new monitor (again technically old since its been used) from my bro-in-law :D

i was going to buy a new monitor but since i am gonna get one, y bother buyin a new one? but the prob is i haven't spent my pocket money like anywhere for almost 2-3 years, seriously, except for buying a mp3 player and a tablet n a hard disk, not the most girly way to spend money :\
but i guess i'll save it for doing something grand on the grad, n buyin a nice dress, n as for prom...meh i dunno if id really come after graduating (although i have already visualized a dress n get up for it already >>)