Wednesday, December 12, 2007

well finallly the exams r over but i cant really say that it got over on a happy note realizing that both my mocks were utterly horrible...i can just lay my fate on God's mercy n pray the Almighty for sparing my future.
so tomorows the class party, many of us had planned that we werent goin to come but its seems our class teacher's manipulative speech might have change that and we r wavering on our grounds. its quite surprising actually shockin for me that i just noticed that i could rite such annoyin sentences over here on which i would have been given abundance of marks and yet i just cant seem to keep the same kl durin exams just wen i need the use of such talent, how ironic. exam nerves. coming to the topic, dun u ever find it extremely a nuisance wen a person tries to butt in to ur business without askin ur consent or think that they are always (well mostly which is more aggravating)a person who always has this unconsious need for control, to have things always rite, to have things perfect and good and best, why not? everyone tries to achieve perfection, but no one holds on to it as an obsession. such ppl who can manipulate u into the guilt corner that ur desperately tryin leave ur body leaving a dummy behind so as to not offend anyone by speaking out ur mind nor do u even have to suffer. this is how i feel wen i m with my class teacher. so u try to reconcile with this hateful dislikin feelin in ur heart, u just cant let this feelin go. my point from all this senseless blabberings? well i was plannin to be absent on the class party BUT since i m one of my class teacher's fav regardless of my ill feelings towards her i have to come not just to keep her heart because of manipulative speech that just the G-chord in my heard- guilt. so well i m gonna bring cups tomorow, listened to music that has been checked and censored by my class teachers so our ears remain pure and innocent (hah dun make me laugh). Having rights seems like a privelige not an obligation...and that too based upon pretences to make us believe in false hope of justice.
strangely i have noticed that a few of my friends (and few teachers TOO) love my sayin my full name... :S or maybe an iconic symbol spread out in words, confusing lemme explain. I was just tellin my friend how bad my test and how i would go home and cry rivers of tears (figuratively) she actually believed me, and even though i tried to convince her that i wont she said she expected it cuz i was "Rabia Ihsan" WTF? i dun get it. there has been couple of incidents before it seems like i m The Rabia Ihsan so it must have been done in a particular way. i dun get it y ppl see me as such an iconic symbol of the 'perfect student'. so i like to stay outta trouble for most n yet keep friends who luv to create a riot so i join them maybe once in awhile? wats so shockin bout that if u take even that away from a person like me, trust me my life will be the most boring tale ever. so yah i m smart and like to get gd marks? is there a rule in this so called stereotypical-school-life of ours that such ppl are geeks and nerds and live a life of complete boredem and their goody-goody conceited way of thinkin? i think we r so biased amongst ourselves... pretendin not tryin to care bout it while it kills u on the inside? i think its stupidity and completely illogical for smart person to not use their talents to make themselves happy. the intrications created in our lives are clearly manifested on our personality and it is this which seems to be deteriorating our sight of logic.

Logic, Logic, Logic...yes i m obsessed with it, because i want to believe in something that has a useful meaning behind to show that its not just made to waste, lifes unanswered questions all of them must be having some sorta logic behind them...some sorta purpose, its just we don't know. "Everything happens for the best, its just we dunno yet" i have whole heartedly accepted this concept, n now wen i think bak at all the sad moments in my life, i can actually understand the logic behind it. so u see even though matters that are so trivial, happen for a reason, we just dunno it yet. n yes it does happens for the best no matter how painful it is, so with this in my mind i can finally smile even wen im bursting into sadness. yes i do luv philosophy but i hate ppl who talk alot, meaningless talk.

rite now i m drownin my sorrow with Boston Legal which is the reason y i was typin in sucha wierd way. i guess alan shore's clear expression of logic and cynasism does kinda influences me hehe...gr8 series a must watch.
Thought for the day

"male menopause"
quoted from one of the CIE AS level English exam


Site Owner

Rabia 17 Pakistani

materialistic mind with a tinge of spirituality

selfish n greed r in my mind n yet my sympathetic heart can be melted away by an indigent, adventurous, wierd mixture of quietness with a sudden blast of wildness

artistic talents have yet to be improved, the maturity has passed to such a level that i now have invented my own philosophies
intelligent in studies yet i have not reached the point where i have to wear glasses
leads an aimless life, don't have a social life outside school, not prejudiced easily.
past is forgotten, futured is never cared for n present is boring...
a realistic mind with a touch of impossibility
likes to sing in the toilet, a thin-stiff stick,
a friendly person who has an open ear for anyone's trash
monotony can lead me to go temporarily wild, which can cause chaos
a person who daydreames 90% of the time during classes and 10% yawning
and yet manages to get above average grades
, a lazy ass, the i try to run away from responsibilities the more they chase after me
a rebel who fights against the senseless rules and regulations indoctrinated by our society
common courtesy is given to everyone; indiscriminately, unless someone antagonizes me
respect is given to those who deserve not any old person
official defined as a procastinator, describin myself? it ain't a peice of cake...
i have yet to figure out if i am more than a human being?
probably not...
.


Likes and Dislikes

Dislikes
  • showoffs, bullies, really stupid ppl, mr/ms-i-know-everythin respectin just cuz their old (RESPECT PPL BY THEIR CHARACTER N NOT THEIR AGE!), ppl who patronize


  • Likes
  • orange juice, ice lolly!, friends!, perfumes, comics, blogging, corn, art, fries, cookies, mc flurry with oreos! or baskin robins cookies n cream, computer, digital art, sunflowers, holidays, ice-cream, internet, chocolate to be specific:- kinder bueno and hersheys cookies n cream, japanese, anime, chocolate muffins, music, orange, photoshop cs2, pizza, purple, radioblogclub, rainbows, rainy days, my tablet, drawin, guitar, slacking, readin, singin, photography, money, day dreamin, ps3, watchin tv...


  • Right Now
    Say must study
    Music Do the panic!
    Wanna kill... no one at the moment
    Bought check shirt!
    Writing u wish i was
    Msn nick mushy head
    Eating had breakfast at 11 am
    Drawing the 2 face girl
    Goal for the day study accounts and finish at least half of the painting
    OMG indian dramas can be soo dramatic and over-the-top in acting
    WTF? kill that cheap-ass salesman


    materialist
    chucks
    play on a grand piano
    see snow
    slr
    semi acuostic guitar with vintage curves and a modern illustration imprinted on it
    mp3 player
    read digital fortress
    visit a foreign country
    tablet
    buy new boots
    stop procrastinating


    music.



    noise.




    nonsense.
    ----
    memories.

    » February 2005
    » July 2005
    » August 2005
    » November 2005
    » December 2005
    » January 2006
    » March 2006
    » April 2006
    » May 2006
    » June 2006
    » July 2006
    » August 2006
    » September 2006
    » October 2006
    » November 2006
    » December 2006
    » January 2007
    » February 2007
    » March 2007
    » April 2007
    » May 2007
    » June 2007
    » July 2007
    » August 2007
    » September 2007
    » October 2007
    » November 2007
    » December 2007
    » January 2008
    » February 2008
    » March 2008
    » April 2008
    » June 2008
    » July 2008
    » August 2008
    » October 2008
    » February 2009
    » May 2009
    » June 2009
    » December 2009