"i really wanna buy that camera! i m even ready to do even a maid's job...except for cleaning the toilets! lolz" "rabia, ur crazy! u r much more educated n smart than the maids! for once use ur brains!" "Use my brains huh? I got it!" "wha-?"

yesterday i told everyone bout me being obssessive bout this camera...
i was sittin in the physics period sulkin bout how i wanted a job n wanted to buy this stuff "i really wanna buy that camera! i m even ready to do even a maid's job...except for cleaning the toilets! lolz" "rabia, ur crazy! u r much more educated n smart than the maids! for once use ur brains!" "Use my brains huh? I got it!" "wha-?"
I remembered one girl tellin me that she paid a 100dhs to this person just to do her H.W! shes the most stupid person ever who has no money issues n does not know THE VALUE OF MONEY but in any case i called her n asked u want me to do ur hw? i'll charge u 100dhs for each subject...she was like fine n i was like O_o wow, gettin 100 bucks for like 6 questions? i will be able to make 3000dhs in a month's time... i could give her a 2% discount if she gave me 2 subjects. but all this just seems too gd to be true. wat if she doesn't brings the money, no prob, i'll tear off the pages from her book on which i did my work n just eat less everyday n save up money...it might be a long process n it could possibly take more than an year to save enough but atleast i can garuntee that i will get the money,

durin the maths period(last period), ms mary(supervisor) entered our class, n was like she wanted to check our bags, n everyone was like "shit! omg!" cuz most of them had bought thier mp3 players today n i bought a fasion mag that i thought i would read in the bus but alwayx forgot. anways, it seemed to be that some girl had lost her 50 bucks in her class durin the test period n we were sittin in that class...we were all innocent ofcourse, n later that girl whose filthy rich comments "she lost only 50dhs n shes makin such a big fuss!" heh as if u have ever earned anythin in ur life...i haven't n yet i know that money shouldn't be taken for granted

so lets see if i can really get the money, then all is gd, if no, not much harm is done, i can make it through the long way...
but i feel srry for her, money might be able to buy things we desire and want, but it will never buy wisdom, love n especially BRAINS!

if u haven't read the previous post then dun bother commentin here!

i got pam's 'buy-me syndrome'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i really want this stupid camera but its like more than 2000dhs how the hell am i supposed to get that much money!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
rite now every nerve body is screaaamin photoooooooooogrrrrrapphyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
i saw soooooo many kl pics taken by this camera
to hell with all that crap i said before!
does anyone knows where i can get a job with a gd pay?
cuz i know i aint gonna get it as a gift nor do i have anyone who is filthy rich, whom i could con away...so might as well make my cv
btw wth is r those stupid fliers in skool bout? 'r u broke?...' sure as hell am, but its only for com students! wth is a girl like me supposed to do! they should provide small jobs for students u know, this way they can get thier extra with us being teacher's-slave. i cant sit properly i gotta run i gotta do somethin to stop this stupid stupid energy from overflowing,
i think now theres a third part of the brain thats comin to veiw now

insanity: must-buy-camera! i have to something!!!!!! isfojaeifja
self consious: stop actin stupid! ppl might think ur a total nutcase!
insanity: MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAA
(common sense just couldn't take it any more so...)
common sense: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! n calm dowwn
self consious: u both r now freakin me out
insanity: pic pic pic pic pic pic pic etc...

Look mais! the moon and theres the sun!

so is it really true that the small things in life really makes a person happy? sometimes...i guess.
during the first term, everyday, early in the morning wen my friend (mais) and i walked from our bus to the skool, i used to search the sky, anxiously waiting for the clouds to move n there it shone faintly...the moon
"Look mais! the moon and theres the sun!" i would say gleefully! "uff, u and ur sun and moon" i would just reply bak with a gleeful smile, staring at the moon at the north and sometimes to the sun, which was on my west...but if the sun is on my west then i might be facin south...ahh jeez wateva, the point is u see it everyday yet most of us fail to notice. n then wen we're travellin from bus to skool theres this huuuuuuuuuge flock birds or pigeons(i think) flyin in the air coverin up the whooooole sky(sometimes they go round like cyclone O_o its kinda wierd)!! i dunno lookin at them just makes me feel more content and filled and...happy

but then even helpin out someone (sometimes) gives u this warm fuzzzzy little feelin, like wen the gr2 child told her story bout me singing to her friend who told me in the bus. or wen i gave my chocolate to my friend who was really feelin hungry. i dunno it just felt nice! although helpin a stupid dumbass who constantly asks for ur notebook, or askin questions durin the period n exams is just plain nuisence.

n wat bout the things we want? (ipod, huge tv, ferrari etc) could happiness really be bought with money? maybe, but it only lasts a while...wen i got the things that i wanted i was really happy, jumpin around the whole house! but then u just loose that feelin later on, n u go longin for another of ur wants, so even if happiness is bought by money, it will only result with greed i guess. but u cant give up on it either since everyone has wants that only money can fulfill but can it really bring happiness?

wow i could become a philosopher by ritin all this crap. in the end i guess its just those little things in life that u probably never even noticed before, that really makes us happy. Eg: Pigeon Fight (u haaaaaaaaaaaaave to see one its the funniest thing ever, birds peckin on each other's neck lolz) or a mom's hug might just give u that little warm fuzzy feelin inside. Its just that even though we know its there, we are just so blinded by the misery around us and can not see the fact that the answer to 'being happy' is so simple? i dunno if its true with all the stuff, but usually it is said, that complicated questions have very simple answers.

although i might not be able to see the unique dawn everyday, i might as well go to gr 2 n see the boys belly dance, lolzz that would make my day!

"which grade r u in?" "y?" "i need to know" "7"

u must be wonderin y am i doin this all the time, well actually its like an openin n i kinda like so i'll do it for most of my posts, these words are actually the main topic for the post.

hmmm, so it all began wen i was infront of the canteen for gr5-8, wrestlin with the small fat girls to go front n then try to catch someones attention so i can buy.
n suddenly this girl comes up behind me n asks "which grade r u in?" i m like "y?" although knowin the answer very well to myself..."i need to know!" in a split second i had to decide whether i should tell her the truth or not
TRUTH: if told her the truth i would be thrown outta the line...
LIE: she could probably argue n i could ignore her, or she would buy my story, in either case i could buy.
i had come too farto be thrown out, so wat was my judgement, LIE
"7..." "oh ok," n she left. i had 2 thoughts she came after another
FIRST: she bought my story yess i can finally buy
SECOND: wait she actually believed that i m in 7th grade! do i look that small!!

at that time i didn't really care, but wen i told this to my friends they were like u should have said 8 not 7, but that does not make a difference! the fact that i look smaller than my age still remains true. mostly the girls who look older r the girls who r bitchy, mostly not all. gah who cares!? as long as i can take advantage of the fact that i m small and big at the same time who would wanna look bitchy?
hehe...

but still u know i look like 12-yr-old!
its ok!
no its not, i need plastic surgery!
ur crzzy!
no ur crzzy how can u be so calm bout it!
cuz its not a big deal!
grrr!
grrr!

SYSTEM ERROR!

sorry bout that, my brain is kinda havin a fight rite now? one half is self concious n the other is well just plain common sense. so who do u think will win?

If i can create then i can destroy too, they r my creations

wen i woke up, i was sik of being sik! this clogged nose, husky voice, nonstop coughin, n extra laziness, i wen to school like any other schoolday, draggin myself from from the bus to my class. every one who comes n sees me says "wats rong? y r u so quiet?" i stare at them, i m being annoyed like that everyday. jeez ppl is it like u just noticed it today that i m sik with cold! n that isn't the only thing, dun tell me that u dunno me long enough to make out my personality, i m that quiet person who listens to ppls trashy lives, n then later bitch bout the how cruel the world is.

wen our class teacher arrived, she was like rabia "y r u cryin?" to hell with that as if i m ever gooooooooooin to cry, i aint that weak. "mam i m sik" sayin for the upteenth time durin the day. then she was like "no i was talkin bout that screamin pic of urs", well wat could i say, i just smiled. later shes like she didn't like the toilet door i made on the board. she was like it didn't look nice, cuz this isn't the place where it belongs, n to make matters worse, a girl in my class was like yes mam all the girls from other classes r sayin like this is not nice....thats IT! i was quiet i didn't wanted to make an issue but i couldn't control my anger (the irony is, i myself had ritten a topic called rage control for our board) i just went bak n tore off the thing. most ppl at the bak gasped, "rabia!"
there was only one thing in my mind that time: i can create then i can destroy too, they r my creations.

y was i pissed? cuz the teacher had no rite to tell us to take it off the board. If she does wanna control stuff, then she should have told us wat to do stead of givin the whole board to ourselves. n i was pissed at that girl, just bcuz her friends doesn't likes it doesn't mean she could make it all worse! i mean all the ppl that i had showed it too, they all liked it, i mean they do get a shock first, but then they eventually liked it. i mean there was nothin dirty in it, its jst a freakin door! most of the ppl n my classmates like it cuz they felt that it was somethin different they all were like "gr8 idea rabia" i was sooo excited to do this! n then came the burden of the freakin "CLOSE-MINDED PPL". y do i have to plz others, wen my friends n i are pleased?

i was so angry, that i wasn't talkin at all (i would have screamed n argued but i m sik n my husky voice just ain t good enough) later i felt like tearin somethin more, i wanted to tear aways everythin i had done for the board. i knw it would look empty but to hell with team-spirit. 2 of my fat friends tried to stop doin that, one was like u r strong! i laughed out a little, ok maybe i m overreactin a little, but i get pissed with really closed minded ppl. i know i didn't do anythin rong to be guilty of. later all my friends tried to make a fuss n argued with that girl, i was like i'm over with it so then y cant u guys be? but they went on n later...susan (our class president) comes up to me n says "i feel like killin u rite now!(with an evil grin) u didn't had to tear off that thing u know, it was the only thing that made our class look different from others," "yah but mam didn't like it" "but u didn't had to throw in the dust bin..." i gues anger can harm those around u too, ignite a fire within a person that was once calm n docile, n hurt the ones without doin anythin to them. "...make it again, I will take the responsibilty" lolz wish i could, but who would do it? my printer is jammed n i got this printed after goin to 5 ppl, i wonder if its possible to make it again, nah

conclusion is, i dun get pissed so easily but wen i do, its bad, its really bad. for me sadness usually turns into anger, n then to rebellion. i should really stop readin fearless <_<

no more stupid rantin bout teachers, or how cruel life is...
k so we had our em class, waitin outside for sir micheal to come n take us to the chem lab (thats where have our classes for em) so he finally arrives, late as usual.
n off we go, n we just stopped outside the 2nd grade class, n i was wonderin wth is goin on? so then sir is like the chem lab is being used n there r no free rooms rite now, so 3 or 4 of u will go to each section of 2nd grade...O_O

a nightmare just came true

so we entered i think 2 c, areeba, me n another girl was there. As soon as we entered areeba put her bag down , n started off with being a responsible adult, that is being a monitor, i just looked around...it was chaotic
as soon as we entered this cute little filipino boy comes up n says "welcome to 2c" with a broken smile (u know half broken teeth, half milk teeth) it was sooo sweet :)
the boys at the back were standin on their chair, n suddenly started belly dancin 0_o
ok this somethin u dun see everyday so it would be better to enjoy it now. then i started drawin a flower on board, n again this filipino boy comes up n says "kl nice drawin!" i dun remember the last time someone sed kl to my drawin usually its like "wow its gd" "ur really talented"etc. all i could do is smile n say thnx! n then hes like come n look at my drawin n i saw his cute little drawins of cars, with straight lines drawn by scale, n coloured with markers i think...

then my friend areeba was like are there any pakis here? none...O_o indians? none bengolis? none. umm, filipinos? 10-15 pairs of hands up in the air screamin "ME! ME ME!" wow, the future genereations will be full of filipinos...n after 5 mins they started singin "we will, we will rok u!" i was havin fun, so i joind in the singin too lolz, areeba was like O_o wth r u doin? i m like wat i dunno wen i m gonna come bak here again (n my grade 2 class suked cuz i dun think anyone in our class did belly dancin) so might as well enjoy it!

We will, We will, ROCK U!

wen i went in the bus there was this small girl, whom i barely knew, told me that some big girls came to her class n she saw me...i was like ok. but i didn't enter her class i went to some other one, n then she was like my friend in another class told me that there was this girl, who started singin with them...
i couldn't stop smilin after that...

We will, We will, ROCK U!

hmm well, the startin suked, cuz wen we got our papers, i got most Bs a C and few As.
then just last week i had to be in charge of the boardwork, cuz my leader is more lazier than i m, and i knew no work would be done...but i didn't knew leadership could be sucha pain in the ass, no wait i knew this thats y i never took any responsibilities arrrgh
so i had a phys project too to submit by the end of this week, i finished it today, i think i did an ok job, i wanted my project to be a little different so i basicly didn't use any of the cheap ugly lookin powerpoint templates which everyone uses n made my n guess wat? my bro comes later, sees, n says i copied his style i m like O_o no i didn't. wen should me his presentation, it almost looked exactly the same...talk bout coincidence, or better still same brains...
but i didn't care, last week i felt that my brain was bout to explode from the pressure of all the stuff (includin Deepa that bitch) so i made a stayback just to finish all the stupid board work, almost all the paki girls stayed bak even though they did not belong to our group. Ppl asked "rabia wat to do?" or "wat to do with this?" "where should we stick this?" HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? no wait i m supposed to know since i m the leader, but gimme a break dun u guys have brains n a little creativity. btw our board still does not have a title, n theres a wierd pic of me screamin, stuk on the board, u can come n look n laugh. i was thinkin on ritin on anger management, but then i got lazy too.
i remember my friend told me wen she stayed for the board, and was goin bak home she met the headmaster, wen he asked y did u staybak she told him the reason n he was like wat a dedicated class n i should congratulate the teacher. i was like O_O i m the one who is supposed to be given credit for this NOT SIBI!! the parrot voiced fat lookin teacher didn't do anythin at all!!!
finally its all over, our board is still incomplete n i dun give a shit, if someone asks me it is incomplete i'll blame it on the leader, unfair? i m sik of this, the boys dun even do their board the teachers do it for them, n here we girls are given a million responsibilities

k my bro this wonderful song in his pc that i have been just dyin to share, but the thing is there is no vocals, since he has no singer, so he left that part blank
tell me watcha think, i wish i could play guitar like him
for some reason i like the first song than the second one